Ner (djner) wrote,

  • Mood:

the meaning of life = 42.5

I'm back at the coffee shop, all the work I had planned to do gone down the drain in an email screw up which I hope to be able to fix either tomorrow or when I get back to my room. Apparently the exam that I was to do is on either my computer or got accidentally deleted. I have no idea but if its accidentally deleted, I swear I'll go crazy. Not like the professor can not send me it again but I just wish I had it so I could get it done, arg.

Anyway, I was amazed to find I actually had comments after this mornings disjointed, non well-written, piece of crap of a writing. Usually, when I write, I feel proud about most of my entries, even if they are a bit on the long side. Because I had to end it so quickly, I wasn't even close to be able to close it off like I had planned. Maybe I'll at least in this entry be able to lose off this week by doing one of those cool little flashback things reminiscent of annoyingly complicated movies with bad special effects and entirely too many flashbacks and double crosses. Oh well, maybe I'll be able to start writing more effectively and more often again so I don't have to do this again.

I'll start with today, and then under cuts I'll go reverse chronological to all points undiscovered.

After my hasty departure, I headed to a nice little place called The Star of India, located in Bentonville, home of Wal Mart. Its a thirty minute drive, 25 with the drivers I had today :), and well worth the expensive gas. The friends I was with today were Ameya, my current static’s teacher, Amrut, my static’s teacher in The Days Of Jong, and Nikahl, their hilarious friend. We had good times on the way analyzing women, talking about women problems, asking each other about advice regarding women, ... typical guy stuff, hehehe. Note to reader: Men must do this at times; girls have their girl talk times, us men, well we have to bounce ideas off each other "men talk". It always amazes me how much advice people ask of me considering how little experience I have with the subject. Moving on ...

The food was great. The setting was buffet, and I had the experts help me order and pick out some food. Though I almost died of spiciness, and they said "this is not even close to being hot", I am still full to the brim even now. I had various chicken dishes with very interestingly spices, tanduri chicken (an almost barbecue spiced chicken on the bone), and some bread which I might add, kicked ass. I also had some Lissa, a yogurt drink. Basically they mix yogurt, butter milk, a lot of sugar, and mango, blend it all up, chill it and mmmmmmm, tasty drink. We left all full, and got on the road. It was a harrowing trip. Never, I repeat never, tell someone they're going to miss the turn and to "turn, turn turn". It was a right turn, and its true, we did make the turn, not before spinning out at 60 into the shoulder of the road. We didn't hit anything, and it was weird because I was like in slow motion in my mind thinking to myself "man this is really kinda weird. Man, this is kinda, ahhhhhhhh we're going to " turn back on the road. Not something I thought we'd do. The rest of the trip was uneventful save our laughing about the event and how much asphalt we probably ploughed up as we swerved.

I then had to go to an boring meeting for Alpha Chi Sigma which was just that, interestingly. It was real, it was fun, but it was NOT real fun. It lasted four hours, four freaking hours.

And that brings me to now, coffee at my write (right) and a journal at my fingertips. My friend Heather gave me a call wanting to know if I wanted coffee and the law is "if offered coffee, its absolutely illegal to resist it." She came down here to do work as did I, hopefully we'll both get lots done here as the smell of coffee impurviates us. I wonder if In Greek myths there existed a muse of Coffee? Or even if there was coffee in Greek times? Well, there's got to be a muse in our time now because I'm consumed by it now. Let the creative juices continue flowing.

I think when I stopped writing, I had talked about going over to Carey's to watch them do their paper. At about eleven they said they needed a break, so we had a good time watching Three To Tango, which was a very funny movie. I ended up getting back relatively early (1:00) and Raymond and Fiona had a great time playing with us. I'm starting to think that Fiona's got to have some kind of twisted social complex because though Raymond's not even close to even being mean, if he plays, or any dog plays for that matter, she barks or growls really really loud. For such a small dog, she's sure got a loud voice :), Very funny.

I think I've talked in short about my previous week. I haven't talked about Wednesday though, and my mom at least has been nagging me to write. So here we go.

As many of you know, I have been struggling with my belief system, not is there a god but which god is the right one, and do I want to believe in Christianity which is what I was brought up with. I've spent no more than I'd say ten entries on it which for me, being that I spend lots of time and bytes writing is a lot. Wednesday, we got together the brailled words for all of the songs they had planned to sing. I can't describe Wednesday too well in words but I'll try. I felt like I belonged there, like I was involved. It was kind of like my old youth group days; the positive music with positive messages, and an aura of acceptance and love that's hard to describe. I think that before I started dabbling in the religious groups around campus, my mind was resisting itself, resisting any faith of any kind because I always hated it when people told me about their belief system. I always felt pressured, and because of this pressured, I felt alienated by Christians. Its the scientist in me that's causing this I think; the scientist in me who wants to prove something exists, prove that Its got to be true. I'm starting to think that I need to stop thinking and start leading with my Soul and my heart rather than with my mind. I'm not saying that Christianity IS the only way, in my mind, its not. But on Wednesday I felt a familiarity that I've felt before, and I wonder if I shouldn't try to reevaluate things a bit, wonder if I CAN be a Liberally political person and also have Christian values and beliefs. I'm starting to think that this is possible. How its possible I don't know, but the outlook is much more positive. If anything I'm growing more comfortable with myself, my faith, and my interactions with other people. I've been very happy, even with my setbacks and difficulties. I'd even say that I'm more happy than I have been in a long time.

I haven't done much else of mention this week, just have been enjoying hanging out with my new friends, even if they are all (most of them) much younger than I.

I feel like an explorer in the wild frontier. So many things I'm experiencing that are uncharted. Friends I can call up and say "hey, let's hang" who are within spitting distance. People I can talk to who hold my same morals. And a belief system that's starting to become more clear and defined in my mind.

To close this deep entry though, one thing that hasn't changed and never will? I STILL HATE GEORGE BUSH LOL.

And that'll be all for now. Sorry I wrote yet another novella LOL, but the fam and friends all want to know what's up with me so I thought I'd in this entry be able to stem the flow of questions on the goings on in my boring life. All the best to everyone. You all are great.
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