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Ner's Random Musings on a life of interesting insights

a world of interesting factoids about nothing and everything

March 14th, 2004

(no subject) @ 09:24 pm

Just laying here trying to think of what I'm going to do; read, listen to music, meditate. I don't know.

We're now up in Strawberry and I don't have any internet connection to post this as of now. So, I'm testing out the working offline features of my client and hope that it will allow me to upload all my posts when I get to a connection. I had forgotten hat I had about 2000 songs on this computer so I hope, once I get these thoughts down and in stone, I'll start reading, something.

It was a rather uneventful trip up here after we finally got our car and left. Well, I take that back, it was eventful. We were excited that we'd be able to listen to some music. A press of the radio's on off button and we had nothing, no lights, no music, not even any static to listen to. We gotout the users guide, checked the fuses, and still nothing. So both my mom and my sister had fun sarenading us with all kinds of tunes from Meet Me in St. Louis and other things, while my dad and I cringed. I had fun talking to morganallafaye and ruadh_innsean. even if they don't approve that I liked Finding Nemo they were good commiscerators with my plight of listening to two happy singing women. It was great.

Backtracking though, and I hate not being non chronological, we had to get our Mexican food fix before we left Phoenix, so we went to Garcias, a Mexican food restaurant, and I had a cheese crisp and the others had tasty other things that I can't remember right now. You may be asking, what's a cheese crisp. You may be saying, shut up and get it over already, well I'll have to say what it is just because no one who hasn't lived in Arizona seems to know what it is. Basically, its a quesadilla, unfolded, and broiled in the oven. The ones you usually get in Arizona Mexican food restaurants tend to be huge, about the size of a pizza, so when I finished mine, I was quite full.

Back to the present. We got up here to Strawberry, in the midst of the Moggollon Rim in northern Arizona. If you're looking for it on a map, its near Payson, the next largest town away from us. I was born in Payson, and since I was born, not much ahs changed about this town, its still small, and it still annoys me when people from Phoenix invade from the south to get away from the sweltering heat.

My Grandpa is doing as well as is to be expected. We had a great ttime sitting outside and talking about how it sucks to be in pain and how we wished we'd both get sooner. He's still got his sense of humor and sharp wit, but he's so weak and has such a hard time swallowing. Its so sad to watch him this way and to know that he's probably so close to the end of his life. I still think he's got a long ways to go and luckily he agreed with me. Tonight it was hard to watch him eat dinner but I could commiscerate with him that when you're feeling sick you don't necessarily feel like eating. He did better with his food ground up though and I was happy that he could at least enjoy some of the roast we had.

So I'm sitting, or rather laying here, two cats on the bed, and I'm writing. Its the only way I know to ease my pain both mentally and physically. I miss my friends, I miss talking to paople, and though we're with family I hate feeling like Ia burden to my family with my bad leg. All I can do is keep writing, and keep praying that I'll feel better about things, and that my Grandpa will get batter. Whatever your religion, whatever your belief, we, me and my Grandpa, need your thoughts, your prayers, anything positive you can send our way. If there is a God up there which I truly believe there is, he'll helpus get through it. Sorry i these entries get a bit on the long and windy side, its just my way of coping and trying to sort things out in my mind. Feel free if you're not happy with the long length to take me off your friends list. If you enjoy reading, and you enjoy my travels, by all means, stick with me, we'll get through everything life has to throw at us. I suppose I need to close now and see iif I can get this thing to work properly.
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Date:March 19th, 2004 03:41 pm (UTC)
Hiya! :-) I'm glad to hear that you're getting through this and that you've been engaging in activity that (hopefully) is keeping your mind off the pain.

I know what you mean, though, about seeing your relatives suffering so. One of my aunts had (Yes, had, she died recently) severe Alzheimer's and it was so sad that she barely remembered me (or any one of her relatives, for that matter). There was one event, however, that occurred almost a week before her death when my family and I were visiting her nursing home around Christmas of last year. Another aunt who lives at the home had asked me to sing for her and Aunt Thelma (the aunt w/ Alzheimer's). So, I began to sing "O Come All Ye Faithful", first in Latin, then in English. When I began to sing in English, Aunt Thelma started lip syncing the words and appeared to be truly enjoying herself. I tell you, that was the first time in a while that I've seen her "come out of her shell". Verily, I, along with everyone else there, was amazed. Anyway, I know that it seems that, when you're going through some difficulty, your prayers simply hit the celling. They may not be answered as quickly as you'd like, but I truly believe that this is for our own good. I mean, sometimes going through a lengthy trial can, as I may have said before, help to strengthen our character. And, perhaps there are other reasons for lengthy suffering that are not immediately known.

I'm praying for you. :-) TTYL.

Ner's Random Musings on a life of interesting insights

a world of interesting factoids about nothing and everything