September 14th, 2004

Fiona and me in the snow


I must try to make this short, and somewhat anonymos to protect the innocent, perhaps if you're lucky, you'll get the unexpergated and uncensured version at some point, but since so many read this I must be careful what I say and how I say it.

Today was such a tough day that to get through, I've brewed an ofternoon half pot of very strong, strong for me that is, French coffee. ITa making writing much easierm well writing about today that is.

I had only one class today plus a session with Dr. Cheminator, (he's a German dude and reminds me of Arnold you see :). He's the nicest guy and everything but I swear, if I have a session with hlike I had im today, I'm either going to die an early and painful death by physical chemistry or bt the hands of both Dr. Math and the Cheminator in a combined and silent attack. Class was ok, I pretty much understood everything, then came the session. Oh yeah, did I mention that the dude who was supposed to get me to class on the cart forgot me? Yeah that happened first, so Jerry, bless him, actually had to walk ten minutes from the quads to Science Engineering. We got there about eight minutes late but late is better than not coming at all.

We started the session after class with personal notes from teh Cheminator. I understand what he was talking about, its all about my inability sometimes to be able to tell what other people do when I say something. Apparently, seeing facial experssions, as know, is an important thing. I didn't mean anything by comments, but though it made me think, I appreciate the fact that he feels like he can tell me these things. I'll not only try to do better with that, but with my homeworks. When he asked me to do this problem, I totally blanked. I dn't know if it was the fact that I was already a bit rattled, but I totally felt stupid because I couldn't fully answer the question. Dr. cheminator expects me to do the best, to excel, to get an A, and when I can't get something right, I hear about it. I'm not sure why he does this, but I suspect its so it makes an impression on me so I'll remember next time. As far as I'm concerned, yes I'll probably remember, but it causes me much stress. I guess what doesn't kill me will make me stronger, but I sure felt like I was an enlisted dude in the military in front of a drill sergeant today.

If only I could actually "read" the pages I'm supposed to read rather than having a reader ... Oh well, not much I can do about it now but to study as much as I can.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed